Opening Up

from A Graveyard In My Head by Bradley Ryan

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lyrics

I hate to start off brutally honest
But I’ve never been good at opening up
Maybe it’s because my emotions were seen
As unimportant and invalid to others
Maybe it’s because I never want anyone to see
A weaker side of me
I’ve lost count of how many nights I’ve spent
Alone in my room with just my thoughts
Somehow my demons get invited
They just let themselves in
And from then on, it’s hell on my brain

I’ve lost count of how many mental breakdowns
I’ve had in the last few years
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told myself
I was a worthless man that will never be loved
I’ve lost count of how many moments I’ve waited
For something that never happened
Such as a phone call or a text
I’m always a fool to think it’ll come
I’ve lost count of how many people
I’ve cared about that never cared about me
I’m not sure if it’s because I wear my heart on sleeve
Desperate for someone to care about me
Or I’m just a hopeless romantic
Desperate for someone to call my own
I’ve lost count of many nights I’ve spent
Thinking about how I just might die alone

I’m sorry if this is depressing you
This is why I never open up
I’m not used to anyone caring about my emotions
Let alone giving me the time of day
I’ve been abandoned so many times
I’ve developed a habit of waiting for almost everyone to leave
If it’s not now, it’ll be soon
That’s why I’m always staring at my watch
Or looking up at any kind of clock
Because eventually I’ll be alone again

credits

from A Graveyard In My Head, released May 20, 2016

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Home Poet Records Chicago, Illinois

An independent record label based out of Oregon.

Inquiries: homepoetrecords @ gmail.com

2014-2021

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