1. |
Cracks in the veneer
02:08
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instrumental
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2. |
Open ears for the deaf
03:48
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this is the space you need, but the drugs I want
my hands are full and my head hurts
and this is the shirt your blood is on
there is comfort in the words this bottle speaks
and company in the name the pills read
there is comfort in the songs you listen to in your room
company in the names you curse
and finality in the way you dream
this is the time I need, but I came back and nothing changed,
this place is the same
these are the words I wish could get me a job
and someone who gets it
what did you expect, a son with eyes not full of lead?
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3. |
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it's not the same as it used to be.
i'm still comparing love, though.
luckily, you've never noticed how big of a let down i really am.
just in the nick of time, i'm bleeding all over the bathroom sink
and it will never be the same as it used to... be!
it wasn't the grass or the smoke or thing words that you spoke.
it was the wind that breathed down our necks
and the condescend that paved a golden sidewalk.
sometimes, grandma says she can't wait to have great grand children
and i just smile... i just smile
and sometimes when you whisper in my ear,
i still hear the screams and the moans of pain.
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4. |
Would you miss me?
07:45
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i'm just writing to say i'm sorry
and i appreciate the fact that I am alive;
but i hate the truth in what I figured was living.
just tell me that you love me.
that's the only courage i could ever muster..
to try and spit out my teeth and be honest,
but it never comes out rightfully.
and i'm sorry, but the water is sinking me
and the waves are eating me.
tell me i'm worth waiting for.
tell me i'd be missed, would i be missed?
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5. |
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instrumental
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6. |
..Before forever comes?
05:02
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every single time i try you just push me down.
every single day i try you just let me down.
i can't help what's out of my control.
if you can't forgive me that's fine,
i understand, but understand that i'm sorry.
every single time I find the traits
you let them fall through your hands.
every single day i lose my traits;
you keep them inside your lipstick stains.
i can't help what's out of my control,
but what really hurts is waiting forever
for you to come back to ground level.
so i can see you for "face value"
and beg for forgiveness, my sorrow.
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7. |
Albatros autour du cou
02:44
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maybe if i kill myself, we'll both be happy again,
because i don't want to pretend anymore.
i don't know what happened to the "me" that i built and loved.
the one you loved, too.
he's gone and he left when he hurt you for the last time.
i'm so sorry.
this will break us, i know.
i should go away farther then before.
i should kill that part of me that hurt you.
i'd sacrifice everything to make you happy
and to hold you close.
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8. |
'canvas' et 'lovers'
03:07
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you're the canvas and i'm the paint
while i lie all over you, lie around you.
you're the tally-men, i'm the score;
watch me tally marks across your walls.
i swore i'd find a brighter side of life
and you'd find a colder side of strife.
you be the canvas that i rip apart with my teeth
in bare angry tendencies, but i'm sorry,
i'm not red paint.
watch this black paint stain your pale skin.
i smell the gin on your breath, the skin on your bones.
i smell the stench on your dress, the angst in your shoes.
i smell the love on your breath, the strength on your bones;
the pain inside your heart that has encased in mine.
it's so hard, i swore an empty promise.
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9. |
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instrumental
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10. |
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adding insult to injury;
tell me you never hurt that because of me,
but lie and exasperate your thoughts on misanthropy.
you've got so much grace, but it's all underneath your makeup.
smear it on the streets so, i can see you everyday.
adding salt to wounding;
tell me you never loved the pain in renaissance paintings.
lush and exasperate your hopes for falling.
i'm sorry i even tried.
put your wedding ring on my nightstand.
put your conscience aside for the time you're here.
you can call my bloody throat your home.
you can use my scarred hands for your own injury.
help me, oh my god, please help me.
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11. |
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i was standing in the aisle waiting for my order and you cut in front and asked for your prescription i could see the cuts line your wrist and i could hear the eagerness in your words they flew off of your tongue like daggers in my ears but i knew i was in love i was in love with the sight of your transgressions you weren't strong and i could help you by the next december we were moved in and you had your razors in the medical cabinet behind the mirror i remember throwing them out and i remember you using knives instead we buttered the toast the next day unaware of what you had used the knives for it wasn't until we found you in the bath tub we knew you had taken your life
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12. |
So, where do we remain?
01:12
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instrumental
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13. |
Collegiate speak
02:43
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i would look back at you and smile at your grin what are best friends for anyways "and you meant nothing to me" i told you i wouldn't let us lose touch but look at what's become of our friendship now we were stronger than this you were stronger than this someone heard me whimper and push my feelings aside i just want you to be happy.
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14. |
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Leslie: Alec was the first love of my life. Y'know, I sometimes think if we had never ended up in the same dorm, I would have just ended up with someone else, so would he. Leslie: Tell me something, what do you think about our relationship as an outsider? I want you to be honest Kevin: You want me to be honest? Leslie: I don't know, yes. Kevin: Yeah? Okay, dangerous question, um. Well, I think I hang around you guys so much, personally, because, well, you're all I think about. And, um, I think the reason I'm not interested in other women and why I haven't had sex in so long is because I am desperately, completely, in love with you... Leslie: Kevin... Kevin: Well, we won't even remember this tomorrow. Leslie: It is tomorrow
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15. |
Kiddo, I miss ya
02:46
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you didn't find god, you found a way to separate us your heart pressed firmly against your bible i wanted to believe... i wanted to believe you were doing better i wanted to believe in something i wanted to take that pain away from you to no avail, you left me and i think i believe.
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16. |
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you are the kind of girl who helps wipe lipstick from my cheek and you are the kind of girl who whispers my name but i sleep all day and it isn't fair you have to go through this. it's so not fair! i wish i knew. at a funeral, drunk, you told me you loved me such an odd place and time, i remember thinking to myself and it was the first time i felt alive and it was the first time something felt right you made me feel right! we moved in together the next december i met you at the pharmacy you had cuts all up and down your arms and you helped me get over losing my best friend we missed her grin most and we miss your grin we found you in the bath tub june 15, 2004 i miss you
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Home Poet Records Chicago, Illinois
An independent record label based out of Oregon.
Inquiries: homepoetrecords @ gmail.com
2014-2021
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